Ah, the yearly transition from school to home. It's always such a shift, such an adjustment. Don't yall feel like so much of our identities are defined by our surroundings? By what we do, what we study, what instrument we play, where we've travelled. Suddenly I find myself removed from my normal surroundings and activities that normally define myself and am in a new place.
More that expressing our sevles and values by what we do, even just how we spend our daily time seems to define ourselves. Maybe I just think too much (hah, maybe), but I find myself pressured to spend my time well and in a way that reflects the sort of values I hold. I should get up early, I should read a book, I should help my mother unload the dishwasher and watch football with my dad. Having to redefine myself with new activities and time spendings is a bit stressful.
Maybe because I go to school so far away and see my family so infrequently I feel like my time here is not mine. Like my time here is somehow owed to my family, and I think about how every action I take affects them, and I think about how to give them my most attention. I don't want to sleep in if it risks missing breakfast with my dad.
Alas, another edition of Madeline's gone home and feels anxiety, but other than these self reflective moments I really am enjoying myself :)
Thanks for listening yall,
Happy break!
madz
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i feel like my identity changes based on my surroundings too. even if i don't go from salem to new orleans, but just salem an hour and a half northeast to troutdale, i feel myself morphing. it's crazy. and it's not like one in necessarily better than the other, just different.
ReplyDeleteagreed. I think part of it is going back to your parents' house too. You suddenly become a high-school version of yourself asking if you can go out and making sure you're home for dinner.
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