latest spastic moment

Wanted to inform you all of my latest embarrassing moment. I was at a traditional Scottish dance called a Ceilidh, put on by the Christian Union in a big church. No alcohol involved. All women were supposed to join hands and move towards the center of the room. Well...it was really crowded and on our way back I tripped the girl next to me and she fell all the way down on her face in front of everyone. She wasn't hurt but I think she was a little mad at me.

call me a nerd ass but...

I have my own blog because it's an assignment for SA...????right?
So I started one, nobody reads it so it's more like I'm writing to myself. So, to kill two birds with one stone (KEEPING IN TOUCH DOING HOMEWORK) I will put the link here. From now on I will try and make it funnier/more interesting.
http://mybonnyscotland.blogspot.com/2010/09/rugby-and-queen.html

Who would have thought that my new best friend (temporarily of course) would be a churchgoing, cheer-leading, sorority girl? I was worried at first. but why? I'm too judgmental, I have vowed to be kinder hence forth. I love her!
P.S. Scotland is sweet.

Bill Harper

[ ......... ]

when i heard, i went to write him a quick get-well-soon message on facebook but i guess i wasn't officially friends with him. so i added him, but forgot to send the message. then it struck me he probably wouldn't be on facebook if he's in the hospital, and even if he could, maybe it seemed kind of cheap to only add him as a friend when i heard he had leukemia.

it's hard to tell someone that you only peripherally know that you care about what happens to them.

Some Experiences in and around Seoul

On the flight here I sat right behind the exit row that connected to the jetway, and when the door opened after we landed I could feel the humidity wash over me. The first week or so was oppressively hot and muggy, and even the storms didn't seem to take the humidity out of the air, but it seems to be easing up a bit now.

When I got picked up at the airport I found out I was on the flight with two American women (who will remain unnamed because I forgot their names) who would be working at the same company as me, but at different schools. We did a few things together, like find our apartments and get our medical exams for our visas. The first few days were pretty disorganized and full of guessing and hoping we got things right, which I thought was a great adventure, but neither of the women really seemed to enjoy it. At all. Oh well.

I got in on the Sunday the 15th and started my training on Monday. I was supposed to have that whole week as training with the woman I would be replacing, but she went home sick after the first class on Tuesday, so with one day of training and about 48 hours in the country, I was teaching my own classes. It was fun, and it mostly went really well, with only a few minor mistakes like forgetting to take attendance. Apparently that's important.

I'm in my second full week of teaching now. I think I have about 140 students total, and I'm struggling--but progessing, slowly--in learning their names. The array of different students and their associated personalities, strengths, and personal situations is dizzying, but the challenge is fun. My preferred form of discipline is tossing a marker at a student. I probably do it once a day. Actually, the form of discipline I really prefer is a more subtle one that gently urges students to do their work and pay attention because I care about them and I hope I can help them grow and achieve cool things, but I don't know if I'm there yet. But I do throw markers.

The city of Seoul is amazing to me for its sheer size. I don't think I'd ever been in a city where I could ride a subway for 50 minutes and still be smack in the middle of the same damn city. It's an imposing presence. Also, sometimes there are air raid sirens here. It's a poignant reminder of where I am.

I've been experimenting with cooking in my apartment. Tofu and veggies is my go-to meal, and it tastes pretty good now that I've figured out how to make tofu taste good. (Hint #1: buy the second-cheapest brand of tofu, not the cheapest one. Hint #2: fry it lightly.) Tonight, though, I made something truly divine.

My usual food-making strategy is
1- put some oil in a pan.
2- put some stuff on top of that oil.
3- flop it all around in the pan until it seems done.

Tonight I changed it slightly. I picked up some soy sauce and some sesame oil, along with a couple cuts of meat that I think is pork. I slathered a bit of oil and a bunch of soy sauce on the meat, and THEN put it in the pan. I cooked the meat and then took it out of the pan, and THEN flopped in (in this order) some carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, and onions. I sauteed/pan fried/shallow fried (I don't know what it's actually called) the vegetables in the meat juices and leftover oil. I added a bit of this hot sauce called 초고추장. I think it would be transliterated as Chogochujang, and Google Translate tells me it means sour red pepper paste. Divine.

Hope everyone's well and that school's fun, wherever it is in the world that you're going to school.

Brett

I cooked dinner naked tonight. It's just that hot here.

More later,
Brett

Tue 6:21 AM Musings

Is it books that will guide me to my fulfillment? I feel like I am constantly looking for myself outside of myself. Pressured by the belief that we are defined by our jobs, hobbies, and experiences. Just to recognize how much there is I don’t know puts me at a stale mate. I can’t move forward. I can’t finish a book. Where do I find completeness? Where do I find true fulfillment?

If I always look forward, if I always look outside of myself, I will never find it. There is truth and fulfillment in myself and in who I am as a person. Only when I am truly interested can I find the will to finish a book. When it moves me, not when I think I should be moved.

But it’s not about the books or the travels. It’s about loving oneself so one can love others and be loved. Love is about vulnerability, and before this can be a positive experience we can’t be afraid of letting others see our true selves. We have to first love our true selves and not define them externally. Love is about the humility to be open to learning from others without feeling insufficient.

To be a student is not to be insufficient but to be on the cusp of desire and humility.